20 Criticisms of a Great Game

[Valigarmander]

HEY LET'S PLAY A NEW FORUM GAME

The rules are simple. Each page features a game. A popular, critically-acclaimed or at least pretty good game. Participants in the thread share one criticism of the game per post. Once 20 criticisms have been made, the next person to post starts the next page off by selecting a new game to criticize. When picking a game, make sure it is 1) generally agreed to be a good game, and 2) well-known enough that other forum members will be able to recognize it and participate (DoReMi Fantasy may be an underrated classic of the SNES library, for example, but maybe it'd be better to pick something with more notoriety).

So let's say the the page theme is Super Mario Bros. The first criticism might be something like this:

[INDENT]1. The camera doesn't scroll to the left.[/INDENT]

And then the next person might post:

[INDENT]2. The clouds and the bushes use the same sprite.[/INDENT]

And so on, until we get to the next page, where the first person to post would select a new game and include a starting criticism:

[INDENT]The Legend of Zelda

1. The door repair guy is an *******.[/INDENT]

Got it? Let's begin. We'll start with Super Mario 64.

1. Yoshi is in the game, but you can't even ride him.
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List of games covered thus far:

Page 1: Super Mario 64
Page 2: Chrono Trigger
Page 3: The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Page 4: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Page 5: Pokemon Gold, Silver, Crystal Version
Page 6: Super Smash Bros. Melee
Page 7: Mega Man 2
Page 8: Final Fantasy VI

[DarkZero]

2. Peach is in the game, but you can't even ride her.

[X-3]

3.) Bowser 1 takes 1 bomb to KO, while Bowser 3 takes 3 bombs to KO. Bowser 2 should take 2 bombs, but he only takes 1.

[Valigarmander]

4. The last two levels use the same BGM, and it's one of the weakest in the entire soundtrack.

[X-3]

5.) Rainbow Ride feels like a bunch of assets slapped together.

[DarkZero]

6.) Your reward for completing the game is going to the top of a castle that you clearly were never intended to be on top of.

[Valigarmander]

7. There's no air meter underwater. Instead, floating at the surface of water simply heals all damage you've taken.

[Apollo the Just]

8. This game is so broken it can literally be beaten without obtaining a single star.

[DarkZero]

9. Where is Luigi?

[Jere]

10. Later harder levels just feel like they are slapped togheter to be finished quickly, Im looking at you tic toc clock!

[X-3]

11.) The Flying Cap controls somewhat awkwardly.

[Deku Tree]

12.) That piano needs to chill.

[Valigarmander]

13. You never get a chance to combine the Wing and Vanish Caps, or the Wing and Metal Caps, or all three.

[The Amazing Tazy Ten]

14. Getting 100 coins for a star in every stage can be very infuriating because if you get the 100th coin in a bad spot you might have to start from the beginning.

[Marilink]

15. The hitboxes aren't very well-defined or accurate, particularly on things in the ground like Monty Moles.

[X-3]

16.) Touching fire and lava is extremely annoying.

[Apollo the Just]

17. Some of the stars just feel like afterthoughts. The one where you have to touch all of those arbitrary spots in Tiny Huge Island comes to mind. Like, I think it's fun and exciting to have starts that feel more hidden or secret than others, but there are a couple that feel like they were thrown in to get to 120 and maybe sell players' guides explaining how to get them.

[Marilink]

18. You can get comboed really bad sometimes because of the way knockback works. Hit by fire, run into an enemy, knocked off a platform, grabbed by a Chuckya, thrown off into the void. If you get hit in a bad spot, chains like that can be unavoidable.

[ScottyMcGee]

[QUOTE="X-3, post: 1638399, member: 27765"]5.) Rainbow Ride feels like a bunch of assets slapped together.[/QUOTE]

I read that as "asses slapped together" first.

19. The other reward for getting every star is 100 lives - which is relatively pointless by then because there's nothing else to really do in the game except if you want to speedrun or become the next pannenkoek2012.

[е и ժ е я]

20. Mario's apparently been sucking helium down for years in hopes of joining the Chipmunks, and he for some reason needs to scream every time he jumps, in a game where the entire point is jumping.