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The folly of making assumptions about others

Moderator: Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds

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Jesus
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The folly of making assumptions about others

Post by Jesus » Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:56 pm

I'm not sure if anyone here has had this experience. But personally, I have. You know that moment someone confronts you and accuses you of something that you can't disprove so you really have no choice but to go along with it to make the false accusation believable just to get the other person to stop talking about it? I have moments where I don't feel like responding to texts. Sometimes I won't respond for days just because I love my alone time. I'll ignore your calls yes. But days later you confront me and assume the worst about what I may be doing when in fact it was just me ignoring you because I wanted some time to myself. Would you buy that? No of course you wouldn't because you are so insecure if someone doesn't respond in a matter of minutes. I can't be on my phone 24/7 to talk to you at all hours of the day or night. Did you happen to think maybe I was at work? Maybe I was taking a nap? No you assumed I was probably dying in a ditch somewhere. Like chill out man! I just simply didn't feel like talking to you. Stop texting me to death. Stop assuming the worst when someone doesn't respond immediately. Instead of assuming I'm doing something horrible or that I hate you, take a step back and think that maybe you are suffocating me with your insecurities. When you DO find me in person I have to immediately think of an excuse like "oh sorry my phone wasn't working" or "I had to deal with a family emergency sorry" because if I was honest with you, you'd make a huge ass out of me. This is why assuming things is the most toxic thing in life. It's not coincidental why the word is spelled A S S U M E. When you assume things, you make a huge ass out of yourself and I so cut it out! Why must you think if someone doesn't respond immediately that they either hate you or they're dying out in a ditch somewhere?

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Post by I am nobody » Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:17 am

Sometimes I won't respond for days... Maybe I was taking a nap?
How long are your naps?

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Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:46 am

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Jesus
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Post by Jesus » Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:31 pm

Not sure IAN. If it's the weekend and I want to sleep in and get multiple texts from someone in the morning I get pretty annoyed because the last one is usually "where are you?" And in my head I'm like "bitch I was sleepin". But you know if you tell them that, they'll either 1. Not believe you. Or 2. Think you're ignoring them. Texting has become so routine in this society that it's become such a bother to me. Especially dealing with people who constantly text all the time. Back in the 90s we didn't have to deal with this **** but now with the ease of communication people desire more and more attention.

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Post by Random User » Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:35 pm

I've never experienced this problem. I just give people a vague excuse and they take it.

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Post by Jesus » Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:52 pm

[QUOTE="SKELETOR, post: 1622534, member: 35827"]I've never experienced this problem. I just give people a vague excuse and they take it.[/QUOTE]

So you don't get constant texts from people and feel suffocated? You don't get that feeling of someone texting you to death and you just want them to stop so you can have some R&R time?

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Post by е и ժ е я » Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:26 am

People can't text me if I don't have an active mobile, which I don't.
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Post by Random User » Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:00 am

[QUOTE="Jesus, post: 1622536, member: 16999"]So you don't get constant texts from people and feel suffocated? You don't get that feeling of someone texting you to death and you just want them to stop so you can have some R&R time?[/QUOTE]
I can't immediately think of any instances like that. But then I guess I'm a college student, so maybe people just assume I'm pretty busy most of the time.

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Post by Galefore » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:31 pm

I generally text people back since a simple, courteous "can't talk right now" goes a long way in keeping friends and family from worrying.

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Post by Heroine of the Dragon » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:13 pm

Do you understand why this person has insecurities?

A tiny bit of courtesy ("Hey, I'm busy. Chat later.") goes a long way to alleviating the whole other person's concern that something bad/tragic/terrifying happened. Why bother with the courtesies? Because, you know, maybe that person is dealing with something that causes them to be how they are.

Or maybe, you can communicate something like... "Hey, I appreciate that you care for me, but I'm okay. I can't always respond to your texts immediately/same day and will try to respond to important messages quickly. Hope you understand and take care of yourself." :D
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