Donkey Kong Grand Adventures

A forum specifically for the visual and literary arts.

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The Eddie Stilson
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Donkey Kong Grand Adventures

Post by The Eddie Stilson » Sun Sep 23, 2007 12:58 am

Hello, my name is Eric Kinkerman, and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota. I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist, adn some day i will even be better then Jay Resop. Im sorry, I'm a big fan but I will beat you one day. This is my first comic that wil be a smash hit on the interenet but I will display here on vgf first before I get my big break. It s about Donkey, Kong, Life, Death, Tradegy, Love, Drama, and many many....bananas. And now without further ado I present to you:

Image
Image

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Post by Valigarmander » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:27 am

Okay, where to start...

When making sprite comics, saving them as JPEGs are a no-no. They compress the files and make them blurry, which may be good for photographs or something, but not for sprite comics, where we're dealing with video game sprites.

Also, MS Paint paintbrushing is a telltale sign of amateurism and/or halfassery. Also, the font is big and awkward, and should at least be contained in some sort of speech-bubble.

Third, the panels are all different sizes, roughly cut, and placed in awkward positions. Did you use a rusty pair of scissors to make this?

Fourth, I can't tell what the hell is going on. Why the hell does the plane flip in the fourth panel? And while I'm at it... what's going on in the rest of the comic!?

Fifth, unless you do it just right, sprites generally don't mix with real photos. Jay Resop can do this (sort of). But K. Rool standing on top a photographed jet plane just doesn't look natural, or professional.

Sixth, the dialogue is poorly-written. Ever hear of punctuation? Also, the dialogue is bland and boring. Why not add some character to your character?

Finally... SO. MUCH. EMPTY. WHITE. SPACE. A sure sign of amateurism, and of the fact that the artist just got his hands on the latest copy of MS Paint 3000. There's no need for all that, or the huge text at the bottom. All of the text could have been shrunken down to make it less obnoxious.

I'm not being mean, I'm just giving you criticism. I'm not so sure right now, but perhaps with work this comic will turn out to be something great. Until then, keep working on it. Also, welcome to the forum.

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LOOT
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Post by LOOT » Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:02 am

Val, Dylan has done an EXCELLENT job of mixing real with sprites. Perhaps you should have read them when you had the chance. :p

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Post by Valigarmander » Sun Sep 23, 2007 11:34 am

Oh, bosh. Image

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New! Tazy Ten
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Post by New! Tazy Ten » Sun Sep 23, 2007 2:21 pm

Oh shiz!

DK is Dr. Octopus with a ripped up Technicolor Dreamcoat for the metal tentacles!

Oh, and.... the last 3 panels were funny in thier horriblness

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fnord
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Post by fnord » Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:51 pm

The Eddie Stilson wrote:I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist
No such thing exists.
Really, making sprite comics can't become more than a hobby.

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Calamity Panfan
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:25 pm

*looks at grammar*

I'm scared.

Somebody hold me.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Typhlame » Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:44 pm

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwch.

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LOOT
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Post by LOOT » Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:55 pm

Waitagoshdarnminute
The Eddie Stilson wrote: and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota.
**Spit take**

WHAT THE ****.

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Valigarmander
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Post by Valigarmander » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:05 pm

^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

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Post by Typhlame » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:07 pm

He's younger than ME.

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Valigarmander
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Post by Valigarmander » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:08 pm

I don't think age is the reason why L007 ruined my jacket.

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Typhlame
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Post by Typhlame » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:14 pm

Why was it?

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Post by New! Tazy Ten » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:16 pm

The reason is Valigarmander deserved it.

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Typhlame
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Post by Typhlame » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:17 pm

^He deserves many things.

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Post by X-3 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:27 pm

^Like an award for being the best dressed member.

Needs some visual work. I thought it was a bit funny, but the effects almost ruined it for me. For example, in the last panel, just get a picture of a plane over water instead of the same thing.

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Post by Typhlame » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:28 pm

And why is the plane upside down on one panel?

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Post by X-3 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:48 pm

Good point. Instead of that, find a picture of a plane taking off.

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LOOT
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Post by LOOT » Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:14 pm

Valigarmander wrote:^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!
Ahaha, the stains will never come out!

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Post by Gumchum » Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:54 pm

In the words of Coach Z...
This is bad, man! Rrrl bad!
-Dylan

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