Advice on Video Game Addiction

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Advice on Video Game Addiction


Post by Pyropunk » Sun Dec 14, 2014 11:38 pm

Hey y'all... I know it's been awhile. Hey, I need some friendly advice. I have a roommate who is frigging obsessed with playing on the xbox one 24/7/365 and doesn't go out and do ANYTHING. Like, legit it isn't even his, no I'm not putting it in the room because I don't have room for it (yet) and I don't have space for the tv in here (yet).

He classifies himself as a "freelance filmographer" because he graduated with a degree in film, yet, barely works. Sure, he pays rent, but the problem is everything outside of his room is not his. At all.

On top of that, I'm constantly cleaning up his disgusting piggy mess.

For those of you who love to game... how would you want to be approached? How do you think I should approach him? Your advice, articles, love and support are appreciated. I love you guys <3

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Post by Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds » Mon Dec 15, 2014 1:13 am

This is a problem I'm seeing cropping up more and more. The thing is that people often turn to "addictive" behaviours like this because they are using it as a coping mechanism. They can't handle something else in their life (overwhelmed by the responsibility of being an adult, general or specific stress, feelings of worthlessness from being unable to find or keep a job, social anxiety, simple depression, deep-seated trauma, the potential reasons go on and on, everyone is different) and because they are unable to deal with their issues, they withdraw into something distracting like gaming. Escapism itself isn't new, video games are just accessible and available these days.

The thing is, you can't talk someone into being able to just function the way you want them to, neither through reason nor berating them. The only thing you can really offer is support, or if it's impacting your life too much, you have to be the one to make the decision to change your personal situation. Openness and honesty, without being judgemental and expectant, is how you must approach it. Invite him out of the house to something low-key. Ask him what parts of the household upkeep he feels confident in taking on. Understand that he may not want a job, and as long as he is paying his agreed rent/living costs, that is entirely his decision.

Do what you can to engage him if you're really that concerned - even if that means asking him to help you do the housework you think he should take care of. Someone is more likely to feel capable of taking on a duty if they're assisting another person, rather than doing the whole thing themselves. Make your requests clear and be understanding that he is in the middle of something when you ask.
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Post by Shady » Fri Dec 19, 2014 4:53 pm

The lack of work could be a problem, he might be using games to fill the void as he feels like he's failing at his career. I'd start with addressing his messiness first and work your way up to tackling other issues. Use sanitation as an excuse be like "do you want rats or roaches here?" etc.

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Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sat Dec 20, 2014 1:19 am

He could be using it as a crutch or an escape or something rather than just have a full-on addiction. Basically, his gaming is a symptom of something else. Try to find out what that is and help the root problem.

Of course, you'll likely have to gain a lot of trust for him to open up, and you need to be willing to help with what's almost certainly a bigger underlying issue.

Good luck, and to him especially.

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Post by е и ժ е я » Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:00 am

If I'm gaming instead of doing something important, it's usually because I'm not prepared to do or not capable of the responsible thing. Playing a game is just an alternative to doing nothing and thinking too much about what I'm already not doing.

I wouldn't address the gaming, I would address the other problems. Someone who's not doing their fair share is a problem. If he's not at least willing to improve when you speak to him in a compassionate fashion about it, you'll just have to start thinking about yourself more. Just don't rush into any decision and you'll be fine. And don't forget that sometimes people get pissed off for their own reasons, not necessarily because you did something wrong. It's up to them to acknowledge their faults, although it helps for you to be tactful. If you can show somebody a way to avert their damaging behavior instead of criticising it, you may avert conflict.

All in all, he may struggle to manage complicated multi-step tasks and/or may find it difficult to begin new tasks.
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Post by Pyropunk » Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:30 am

I think that's my biggest concern. He's been our roommate for almost 2 years and we have asked him several times to help around the apartment or to do certain things or what not, it seems lately he has just slipped into this massive depression and this is his "escape". The other half was actually livid the other day so I think from the sounds of it he's going to try to handle it. I still passed off the advice because I really don't know how to handle this. I've never had to deal with someone SO self-involved and just... doesn't care. Like legit I'm pretty sure he just does not give any hoots. I've tried to be as understanding as possible and as nice as possible but it has just gotten to the point where I can't take care of a "child" anymore (if that makes sense)

Thank you everyone for your positive feedback! LOTS of good advice. We are going to go over it and see what options we need to utilize for approach :/

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Post by smol Kat » Fri Dec 26, 2014 5:44 pm

I hope you get this sorted out soon! Good luck.
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